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Joke of the Day

"I called the bookstore and asked if they had any books about constipation. She told me it hasn't come out yet"

"Some people say I'm unemployed, but I say I work.. for steam customer support"

"What was Robert E. Lee voted in his High School Yearbook? ""Most likely to Secede"""

"The chef at my local Chinese restaurant had a nasty fall at work, and was so badly injured he had to give up his job. He'll never wok again."

"I introduced my girlfriend to my family today. My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad."

"Oh you're sick? Let me weirdly list every other person I know who's sick."

"I used to want to live in the sewers with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was a kid so I'd say I'm a success compared to that."

"What did the gay deer say when he left the bar? ""I can't believe I blew 50 bucks back there!"""

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean. :D edit: funnier when said aloud"

"I have a MASSIVE heroine problem... I'm addicted to fat women who save my life."