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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Bill O'Reilly? Ass seen on TV."

"Why did the vampire use mouthwash? Because he had bat breath"

"Why are kids with DS getting elected prom kings and queens? Either way, they're going down in history."

"Hate being a funeral director ""why'd u take the job?"" I inherited it from my dad ""You could've just declined it"" And lose my first customer?"

"You know who the most popular guy at a nudist colony is? The one who can walk with 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts."

"Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was out standing in his field"

"Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming."

"Most useless fish. Mermaid"

"""Nice"" - first kangaroo to realise it had a pocket"

"The stock market has been looking thinner lately. It's lost several Pounds."