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Joke of the Day

"Why did the vampire use mouthwash? Because he had bat breath"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu! Didn't I see you yesterday?"

"Family: come play dodgeball Me: nah Fam: oh come on Me: no thanks Fam: JUST PLAY Me: *nails 6 year old in the face*"

"""But what can we do for the people who love our crowds but hate the rides?"" And with that question The Disney Cruise was born."

"What do you call an apple filled with cement? Hardcore."

"When I become a ghost, Im going to leave messages in blood, but theyre gonna be overwhelmingly positive, like ""You're Doing A Great Job"""

"Just told a coworker ""I ain't scerd, lil' bitch."" and threw my stapler. I blame the hardcore rap."

"Ten years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash & Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, & no rope to hang myself with if I read this again."

"I like the way the earth revolves! It really makes my day!"

"A guy runs to your door and pleads, ""Someone's trying to kill me! Can I come in?"" How should you respond? ""I don't know. CAN you?"""