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Joke of the Day

"I'm a practicing Catholic But I'm not ready to go pro just yet."

"This girl just said, ""You know that feeling you get when you really really like someone?"" and I was all like, ""Nope."" and walked away."

"TIL when nursery rhymes are playing in the car but your child is no longer in the car then the songs were probably never for him in the first place."

"I made fun of a guy for still having a Nokia phone. He threw it at me and knocked me unconscious."

"A blonde leans against a tree and the tree collapses... The cleverer give in."

"Presidential election season; that special time every four years when we find out who we just really shouldn't be friends with anymore."

"You know as long as you keep babies well fed they're usually pretty good... But I like mine with a little BBQ sauce."

"What's the most common question in Quantum Physics? I don't know"

"Did you hear about the blacksmith that was arrested for creating iron calligraphy? He was charged with forging signatures."

"1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don't admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening."