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Joke of the Day

"Yoga pants and Walmart My nephew told me all women have nice butts in yoga pants, so I took him to walmart so he could see the error of his thoughts."

"How do you get an art major off your front porch? Pay for the pizza!"

"What's the first rule for hitting on girls? Hit them where it won't show."

"Did you hear about the Bourne identity movie? Matt Damon returns in ..........Still Bourne"

"Fried potatoes Mashed potatoes Baked potatoes Twice baked potatoes Potato chips -if Bubba grew up on a potato farm instead of a shrimp boat"

"Stranger:So,you're a parent? Me: Yes,proud dad of a 5yo w/ special needs S:cool, I'm sort of a parent too, 2 dogs and a cat Me:.... Nope"

"I applied for a job as a Marsupial... Safe to say I didn't get it because I lacked the right Koalafications."

"In Soviet Russia, The LSD take you."

"The shortest tribe in the world The Fuckawee tribe....In the long grass you can hear their chant...Where the Fuckawee!"

"Why did the bear eat his mate? He called her 'honey', then got hungry."