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Joke of the Day

"Yoga pants and Walmart My nephew told me all women have nice butts in yoga pants, so I took him to walmart so he could see the error of his thoughts."

"Q: How can you tell if a cat is blonde? A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head."

"If you're first on a YouTube comment thread, I assume you're last in pretty much everything else."

"What's Hitler's favorite letter? Well, it's not Z."

"""Sorbet"" is a French word that means, ""I wish it was ice cream."""

"I always feel like I'm wasting a text message whenever I respond with just ""K."" Now I write ""Potassium"" instead."

"Disney to remake Jungle Book as Jungle eReader."

"What was the statistician's fetish? Let's just say he had the standard deviation."

"All I want for Christmas Boy: I want a brother for Christmas. Santa: Send me your mother."

"A woman runs into the hospital and asks Excuse me, doctor - my husband was rushed in with violent spasms in his buttocks. Where is he? Doctor- ""ICU baby, shaking that ass"" Sorry."