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Joke of the Day

"ZERSETZUNG funny because America is not east germany? not even mad. grateful for unexpected opportunity to defend constitution."

"I didn't think housework is a full-time job, so for Thanksgiving my wife served me a raw turkey. Revenge is a dish best served cold."

"Boy, ISIS are going to be pissed when they find out New Atheists talk about God more than them."

"Yo mammas so fat When she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck in between"

"A guy walks into a bar... his face gets bruised, his phone shatters on the concrete, and the Pokemon gets away."

"Me: If we weren't related, I'd totally sleep with you. Hot girl: But we aren't related. Me: Oh good, so you feel the same way too"

"What do you call a manager that hasn't grown up yet? A kidager"

"You know what happens when you put the toilet seat up? that's the joke"

"What size bed comfortably fits a married couple? Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch."

"Wow, your teeth are white. Thanks. I'm just curious, what color were you expecting?"