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Joke of the Day

"I got a Wu ton... Wu tang futon"

"dead baby jokes Q. whats more fun than spinning a dead baby around at 50mph? A. stopping it with a shovel."

"I spent a good portion of today sitting in a Snuggie watching Cops. Eventually, they told me to go home and put on pants."

"Please leave a message after the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II soundtrack."

"Who is the most successful rapist? Django"

"6yo wants to ""have a conversation"" with the class bully's parents. Either he's mature beyond his years or he's a mobster."

"[office] BUSINESS SNAKE: [dictating a letter] SECRETARY: [just hammering the S key]"

"When is an outlaw neither left-handed nor right-handed? When he's red-handed."

"The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite So he went back four seconds."

"I like Viagra so much... I literally have a hard on for it."