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Joke of the Day

"My son fed half of the petting zoo. That was the best way to dispose of the body."

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? (x-post from /r/adviceanimals) Because if they had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"

"they say running is addictive, that's why i don't do it, i'm afraid i'll end up in a fitness gym alley offering sex for treadmill time."

"What do you get when you combine a parrot and a centipede? A walkie talkie!"

"An astronomer looks at the sky through a telescope, searching for something. After a while he stands up, looks to the heavens, and yells, ""You cannot be Sirius!"""

"Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my tarifa por 2 horas, so pay me maybe."

"Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering? A: Because if they get lost it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing."

"Having more isn't always a good thing I mean, I have a cousin with more chromosomes...."

"A Nurse talks to her young Patient Kid: Thanks for helping me get through these tough times, will you come and see me when I get out? Nurse: I'd love to, but I am scared of visiting graveyards"

"Two jews walk into a bar Jk lol I'm a Fukien nazi"