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Joke of the Day

"*first date* Him: You have a very defined jawline. Me: Thanks! I chew a lot."

"""Dad, I cant sleep."" Dad: [enters chugging a Monster] SLEEP IS DEAD. GET A JOB. ""Dad Im seven-"" Dad: SO WERE THE DWARVES BUT THEY HAD JOBS."

"Why is does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors it'd be called a chicken sedan. (better if saying it out loud because of the spelling of coop/coupe) ;-;"

"What did the Reddit admins do for Christmas? [removed]"

"I bet the terrorists have a guy who does parody songs named Weird Al Qaedavic."

"I thought about logging into Myspace, but the Delorean is in the shop."

"Why did Churchill always beat Hitler with scissors in rock, paper, scissors? Because he knew Hitler always threw paper."

"The late great artist of the 20th century Yelvis. YOU AIN NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG! CRYING ALL THE TIME."

"How many immature people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 69."

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!"