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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to the doctor... and he says, ""Doc, my eye hurts when I drink coffee."" Doctor says, ""Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup first?"""

"1997: Skynet becomes self-aware 2029: T-1s are sent to kill Sarah Connor 2034: Warranty expires on T-1s. 99% of them break down within hours"

"Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes in a corner? A: You don't you see if you've got 3 condoms."

"Judge: Did you deal him a death blow with this custom crafted sword? Me: Yes, your honor, I smelt it and dealt it.. Jury: *giggles*"

"What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay? One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date."

"Video games should be banned. My son just threw a turtle shell at a walking mushroom then disappeared down a green tube. Someone call 911."

"What do you call Sting 5 minutes ago? Stung."

"I'm always Frank & Earnest With Women In Chicago I'm Frank in New York I'm Earnest"

"How Many Feminists Does it Take to Change a Light bulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change a thing."

"How do whales type e-mails? With their fish fingers."