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Joke of the Day

"Why is a dachshund a cowboy's favorite dog? They're always singing about getting a ""long little doggy""."

"No matter what sexual role play idea my wife decides on, I always have to play the same character... The husband that's out of town."

"What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal? A polar bear"

"[breaking up yet another fight] Me: Why do you always fight with your sisters? 6-year-old: Because I always win."

"How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but he'd have to watch Radiohead do it first."

"What does a white man never want to call a black man that starts with ""N"" and ends with ""R""? Neighbor"

"What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it? A coconut"

"Boss: I suspect one of you is dead [Everyone looks at me, except for Paul, who is not moving at all]"

"Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!"

"Did you hear about the guy in the Islamic State who was caught smoking weed? He was stoned."