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Joke of the Day
"I just want to be rich enough to add bacon without asking how much more it costs."
Next Joke
"How do you prevent 9/11? Make it a Malaysian airlines flight."
"Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me. now if i were a diamond ring, where would i hide ..."
"Yesterday I held a door open for a clown... I thought it was a nice jester."
"How do you make a cat bark? Wrap it around a tree"
"How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold my penisI mean my motherI mean the ladder."
"doctor: ""is there anything that runs in the family?"" wife: ""hm not really"" me: ""the dog jogs a lot"""
"<--Goes to gym 3 times a week... Cannot separate two shopping carts stuck together at grocery store."
"What did the wife cupcake say when her husband asked what's wrong? *Shrugs shoulders whilst turning head up and to the right* ""muffin'"""
"""Jesus take the wheel"" -an Asian man telling the police that a Mexican guy stole his rims off his Honda Civic."