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Joke of the Day

"Thought my friend was an alcoholic because he wouldn't shut up about the bar turns out he was studying to be a lawyer"

"What did the alpacas go as for their group costume? The zombie alpacalypse"

"Noah: I need 2 of every animal Shark: even us? Noah: no, you can swim Unicorn: I'm pretty good at swimming Noah: go for it"

"Why did Arthur have a round table ? So no one could corner him !"

"Not sure yet why this cookie dough has baking instructions on the package."

"Using double negatives results in the meaning being positive. So, should using double positives should give a negative meaning? Yeah right."

"While it may be physically possible to have a baby after 40, forty children are probably enough."

"Recently in my town there has been a lot of rain. A local church put this sign on the marquee: ""Tired of the rain?..."" ""... Come find the Son inside!"""

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd? Mick Jagger yells ""Hey! You! Get off my cloud!"" The shepherd yells ""Hey! McLeod! Get off my ewe!"""

"What does a dog from Minnesota say? Woof da."