13445

Joke of the Day

"Wow, the last couple of elections have been great! We had a white president, then a black president, and now an orange one."

"Did you hear about the Italian husband who was talking during his sleep? He ended up giving his wife a black eye"

"As a father, I would refuse to give my daughter away at her wedding on the grounds that I would have to be there."

"I just made your acquaintance, and this is preposterous, but here is my address, perhaps thou shall mail me maybe."

"Dentist: this is gonna hurt a little bit Me: ok Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom"

"*Sniffs* ""Spring in the air!"" ""Why should I?"" *ba dum tss*"

"My wife sent me out to buy something that would make her look sexy. So I went to the store, and came home with a case of beer."

"Me: Wake up 5-year-old: Me: We're late 5: Me: The house is on fire 5: Me: Your sister touched your stuff 5: *barrel rolls out of bed*"

"I give to you a joke I made up when I was seven: Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver! **bows ** I'll show myself out."

"*sees couple holding hands* *violently breaks them apart* ""Go. You're free now."""