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Joke of the Day

"My phone number is one digit off from a local restaurant's. When I'm in a bad mood, I'll take reservations."

"""WHAT DO WE WANT?"" i havent decided yet ""WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"" i still need a few more mins with the menu you are a really terrible waiter"

"Kid pulls prank on teachers seat with glue. Teacher dies due to... Asphyxiation."

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? a Roman Catholic."

"What do they call the work when Webster long cuts the grass? Emmanuel labor"

"[during sex] Can you please take your Fitbit off."

"A woman is late to a fight. She takes a seat next to several men. ""How many cocks have been beaten?"" she asks. ""None, until now,"" says a man with a smile."

"A horse walked into a bar several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger of the situation"

"Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it."

"Is it ok to hate a certain race? I am fine with 5km races but marathons just do my head in."