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Joke of the Day

"I'm not a psycoanalyst... but I metacrazy once."

"Donald Trump was down in Rio at the Olympics. He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting."

"coworker: Do you want a plate? me [carrying 2 pieces of cake out of the break room] For what?"

"All it takes is a ""food dreadful, service poor"" Yelp review to get your mother-in-law to stop inviting you to Sunday dinner."

"What does the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?"

"*draws sword* *erases sword because it sucks*"

"Said I'd buy my son some stuffing for his pillow. He wanted to come with me. Then his sister did too So now I'm getting down with the kids."

"The debates flipped gender roles. Last night we saw an argument between a woman who wanted to talk facts, and a man who only wanted to talk about his feelings."

"How did the two Irish gay guys know they were meant for each other? Their names are Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."

"How many redditors commenting on a given post does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not possible. Their hands are too slippery with each other's ejaculate."