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Joke of the Day

"The government should pay for everyone to get massages on November 9th."

"Some Ho decided to hit me in the face yesterday... Fucking garden tools."

"What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast? Surreal."

"How many potatoes does it take to starve an Irish man? None"

"Me: Did you have a shirt on when you said it? Wife: I was naked, just out of the shower. Me: And you expected me to remember what you said?"

"For #BackToTheFutureDay try and get your mom to hit on you."

"""There's a guy that jumped off the Pont Neuf!"" He must be in Seine."

"Two fish are in a tank one turns to the other and says ""do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"What do you call 2 guys hanging on the wall around a window? Kurt and Rod."

"The cat licks itself and it's cute. I do it and I'm ""no longer allowed in the library""."