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Joke of the Day

"*Sits straight up in bed* ""THE CHILDREN"" *Kids are sitting in the produce department while two watermelons sleep peacefully in their beds*"

"Grammar Tip: When the zombie apocalypse starts I will be using people who write 'would of' instead of 'would have' as human shields."

"I love it when you call me Medium Poppa! Throw your hands in the air if you's a moderately attractive single lady with no kids or debt!"

"What do you call a zombie eating a dog? Asian zombie"

"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you are NOT going to like it as an adult."

"Two mice chewing on a film roll One of them goes, ""I think the book was better"""

"What do you call an agreeable neighbor? ....a yaybor."

"You would think gay rights wouldn't be a problem.... With all the fags on the internet"

"An ugly, broke, single man stood in my way So I moved the mirror"

"My Uncle saved a Crumbling Cartography business Needless to say he put them on the map."