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Joke of the Day

"3 Statisticians Go Hunting They eventually spot a deer. The first shoots 5 meters above his head. The second shoots 5 meters below his head. Then the third yells out ""We Got Him!"""

"Why did Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other."

"Did you hear the one about the Mexican magician? He told his audience that he'd disappear on the count of 3. He counted ""Uno! Dos!""... And disappeared without a tres."

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile yesterday... ...so I said, ""That's a big word for a seven-year-old"""

"A cool thing about me is that I have 3 academic degrees and only several more dollars in the bank"

"I'm not a fan of Nascar... I believe in equal rights."

"*dancing with the stars* *all of a sudden there's a fault in our stars* me(to stars): what the hell guys? we practiced this! *star wars*"

"What do you get when you mix a public speaker with someone who had tourettes? A clock! One provides the tic, the other provides the talk Credit to my Autistic Big Bro"

"What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve."

"You shouldn't be friends with a fence, because... ...They hold you back."