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Joke of the Day

"Not only is my new thesaurus terrible But it's also terrible"

"BREAKING NEWS Paula Deen's snack mix now contains ""Brazil Nuts"""

"Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin, it tastes the same but you know it ain't quite right."

"HOT LOCAL MOMS IN YOUR AREA ARE WAITING TO TUCK U IN & WILL BE CHECKING THAT TOOTHBRUSH SO GET IN THERE & DO IT RIGHT MISTER"

"A horse walks into a shrink's office. The shrink says ""Why the long penis? Er. Um. Face. Dammit!!"""

"Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today? It's rare to see a medium well done."

"Two fish were in a tank. One looks to the other and says, do you know how to drive this? Now, two sharks were in a tank. One looks to the other and says, I don't think that's enough equity."

"It's nice to feel wanted. Even if it's by the FBI."

"What do pirates have in common with photons? They both travel at c"

"Time to get in my wheel box to go to my work box so I can pay for my home box until I'm ready for my death box."