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Joke of the Day

"If pigs could vote they'd always vote for the guy who brings the food, even though he's the same one who will slaughter and eat them later."

Next Joke
 
"My car lease is up and I have to return it back to the dealer today, so I'm practicing jumping out of a moving car."
"USA: ""Hey, Canada, can you hold this for a second?"" Canada: ""OK."" *USA hands Detroit to Canada* *USA quickly walks away.*"
"If there is an opportunity for me to put my pants on backwards in the dark, I take it every time. Apparently."
"Yeah, so, I don't usually argue with people who I can remove from my life by pressing a button....."
"What is big black and long. The lines at KFC"
"Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table."
"I don't trust a taxi cab that has more than two air fresheners."
"I am suicide bomber AMA Wow this blew up fast."
"Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac? They take things literally."