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Joke of the Day
"Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a black man and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child."
"If you've ever wondered which of your friends loved V for Vendetta, you're in luck today."
"""Have a seat"" *Turns on video of son eating pizza with a fork and knife.* ""Dad I..."" **Dad puts up hand* ""Please don't call me that."""
"Why are Iranian women always eating? They can't stop getting stoned"
"Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I use soap and water personally."
"[my first day as a financial investor] ""I'm going all in on this Acme Corporation. Anybody want a piece?"""
"I missed going to the gym today. So that's 20 years in a row now."
"Hear about the blonde explorer? She bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert."
"How do calculus students feel about undefined slopes in Cartesian planes? Indifferential."