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Joke of the Day

"I told my wife I want to try anal sex... She said she's been having anal sex for years. My entire life is the joke."

"What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing? Help! My pocket's been picked!"

"*tries for a year to brush and floss better* *goes to dentist* Dentist: Do you even own a toothbrush?"

"The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing"

"For some reason the Pope didn't... sponsor my program for terminally ill Chinese children. He said he didn't like the name - What's wrong with ""Youth in Asia""???"

"""10 Things I Hate About You"" is my favorite movie that sounds like a bitter Buzzfeed article"

"My friend's mum has a saying ""40 is the new 30"". Lovely woman. Banned from driving though."

"Coworker: I couldn't sleep. Just thinking all night Me: Maybe try doing some of that here in the office during the day"

"At the touch of her lips, it grew hard an swollen... I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly. It was the best balloon giraffe I d ever seen."

"What do you call the international program that helps clowns with their personal space problems? Clowns Without Borders."