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Joke of the Day

"I swear I can stare at my girl for hours and not say a word. It's so fucking difficult with this restraining order to have a good conversation."

"Where will the Womens World Cup final be held? Kitchen Stadium"

"My Mexican friend was babbling hysterically but I just couldn't understand his panic."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, homosexual rooster? Dude'll do a cock!"

"Spent 15 damn minutes looking for my phone in the car last night while using my phone as a light, yup that high.."

"Last night I asked my wife for a 68 ... She said: What that ? I said: You go down on me and I owe you one."

"What do sex and air have in common? It's no big deal unless you aren't getting any. Heard on the radio."

"A second date is probably not likely if your date pulls out and clutches a crucifix when you enter the room."

"*Buys bat for home security *it flies away Being dumb is hard."

"I have a friend who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime."