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Joke of the Day

"What do you call three witches in a hot tub? A self-cleaning coven."

"Will I be able to drink with these? - First question when prescribed meds"

"And I don't want to hear people from imaginary places like Finland telling me that 57 degrees isn't cold, save it for the elves, Santa"

"Anton Chekhov brought his gun to work He was fired."

"This guy called me ""mindless"". I didn't think much of it."

"Hedgehogs... Why can't they just share the hedge?"

"How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black. P.S.: Sorry if repost"

"Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance."

"Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door? A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in."

"Deep in the black void where my heart once beat, there lies a small, glowing ember-- oh wait no that's a Cheeto."