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Joke of the Day

"Camo couch? what is the hardest part about owning a couch that is upholstered in camouflage? Not knowing where to sit every time"

"When people say ""You look so familiar"" responding with ""Were we in prison together?"" is almost always a conversation killer."

"My next door neighbour just accused me of stealing clothes from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants"

"Today I was woken up by a blowjob. I hope I'll never fall asleep in the train with my mouth open again."

"Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you're so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?"

"What was the last thing that Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship? ""Okay men, get on the ship."""

"I wonder how many identical twins are walking around now with the wrong names because their parents got them confused as infants and never figured it out."

"What is the main attraction at a Nazi Theme park? Genoslide."

"My neighbor just just had a baby boy born with no eyelids. When they did the circumcision they used the skin to make him some eyelids. He's doing great, just a little cockeyed."

"I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband."