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Joke of the Day

"When people say ""You look so familiar"" responding with ""Were we in prison together?"" is almost always a conversation killer."

"What did Khloe Kardashian do for a vegetable? Broke up with James Harden"

"If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them, then a little past them and avoid them altogether it's probably not worth it."

"Oh, so you don't know how bright this flashlight is? Let me enlighten you."

"Someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard."

"'Winter Wonderland' is my favourite song about building a snowman that you will potentially have sex with later"

"What do you call a cute homeless girl? Dust Bunny"

"I'm 89% certain I'm technically still dating at least 3 women from the late 90's early 2000's cause I left for beer and never came back"

"What do you call 10 degree water? Ice."

"How do you get 1000 dead babies into the bed of a pickup truck? A blender! How do you get them out? Nacho chips!"