133377

Joke of the Day

"One cool thing about marriage is that when you hate each other, the marriage keeps you together until you like each other again."

"Alanis Morissette sings about having 10,000 spoons when all she needs is a knife. And nobody asks why she has 10,000 spoons?"

"Job interview: "" if you want the job lick the floor"" -what? -lick the floor if you want the job *licks floor* Eww gross, can't hire that guy"

"What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing."

"I think I'm going to sell my Theremin.. Haven't touched it in ages."

"What's the opposite of quantum physics? Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference)."

"I can't even... ...so I guess I'm odd."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips"

"I repaired my watch with some old parts. It's got a second-hand second hand."

"Hi college freshmen! I hope when you selected bedding for your dorm room you asked yourself, ""Can I see myself throwing up on this pattern?"""