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Joke of the Day

"How does the Pirate watch his movie? He PIRATES them off line. (Or torrents them off Pirates Bay) =)"

"I haven't washed my dogs in months I guess I like my bitches dirty"

"One time I saw a biker's funeral procession and realized even dead people are cooler than me."

"I told my mom I was going to run away to Oklahoma. All she said was, ""OK"""

"If you're going Black Friday shopping tomorrow, be a decent human being & turn your phone horizontal before you record any fights"

"""I may be fat, but you're ugly I can lose weight!"""

"Jewish kid calls his dad from college... ...asking for fifty dollars. Dad responds: ""Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?"""

"Lent is a holiday invented by the banks to sell more loans"

"I'm sick and tired of all the hipsters on /r/Gifs.. They're always saying things like.. ""The video was better""."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the jews? Harry survived the chamber."