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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a company that makes Mexicans? A MexiCo."
Next Joke
"*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don't understand what a flash mob actually is."
"Going to open a used car dealership & employ only super cute girls who will cry until you buy something"
"Not only are all my tweets stolen, but so are all my thoughts. And everything I say. And my identity. And this baby."
"Sometimes I just get tired of my new neighbors that I just want to strap a dildo on my head and anally rape them like a unicorn."
"Watching TV today I saw a struggling actress I used to know had landed a job in a bra commercial. Nice to see her supporting herself."
"My memory is warped and skips often You could call it phonographic"
"If you're attacked by clowns... Go for the juggler."
"How do you know when it is bedtime at a pedophile's house? When the big hand touches the little hand."
"A new zoo opened up in my town, but it only has one dog. It's a shih tzu"