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Joke of the Day

"""Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it"" [cut to: me wearing a toga and confusedly trying to conquer Gaul]"

"How is life at the post office going? It's going well I guess. It has its usps and it's downs. Edited for correctness"

"Thought of a '2 guys walk into a bar' joke A gay guy and Sam Adams walk into a bar. The gay guy drank some Sam Adams. But only Sam Adams had alcohol that night."

"ME: hah, no way. well, maybe sometimes- or i guess...yes? i don't know, what was the question again INTERVIEWER: are you indecisive"

"its a good thing we swallow 8 spiders a year bc if it werent for those spiders, we'd be swalowing hundreds of flies and smaller insects"

"BRO DOCTOR ""Well, looks like we're going to have to check that prostate lol no homo"" BRO DOCTOR"

"What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and a Hells Angel? Someone who comes to your door and tells you to fuck off."

"Counterspace..... is that like antimatter?"

"Why do men finish first during sex? Because Adam came before Eve!"

"Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween? Because OCT 31 == DEC 25"