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Joke of the Day

"Max the camel walks into his parents' room at 2am and asks for a glass of water. His dad says, ""Another one? That's the second glass this month."""

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"Why are goldfish crackers always smiling? Because they're baked.."
"[x-post from askreddit] Aside from throwing stones, what should a person living in a glass house not do?"
"Very proud I've never once screamed ""Woo!"" at anything."
"What do you call a promiscuous fat woman? A sperm whale. --- \**awaits SRS downvote brigade**"
"What's in a name? Mainly, letters that make sounds."
"I'm going to name my daughter ""Up""... so when she brings a boy home, I can look him straight in the eye and say, ""Don't you dare fuck up."""
"Tech support in the military Troubleshoot to kill."
"I've decided to write a 'knock knock' joke about Jehovah's witnesses. ""Knock, Knock, Knock , knock knock knock knock knock """
"Wife caught me whacking off to golden shower porn... Boy was she pissed"