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Joke of the Day

"kicked out of church. I yelled ""YEAH WE ""HAVE A MARIA"", SHE'S MY AUNT, WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING IT WEIRD"". mustve gotten too close 2 the truth"

"If I had $1 for every time somebody called me a racist... black people would rob me."

"What do you get when you minus Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear...? ... A smile !"

"Why Don't Santa Claus and Misses Claus have children? Because Santa only comes once a year and when he does its down the chimney."

"*On date* Her: hey, how are you? Me: yeah really g.. BRAIN: *interrupting* TELL HER THAT RAP ABOUT ANTS YOU MADE UP ON THE WAY HERE."

"*throws goods on conveyor belt* Cashier: is that all sir? Me:""Nope. You got change for a trophy?"""

"What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay? One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date."

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far she's getting a McChicken."

"Where do llamas go on vacation? Alpacapuco"

"They offered me money to promote a product in my Twitter account, but my dignity is strong, as Axion ""The true grease stain remover"""