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Joke of the Day

"*looks at fish tank 6: It's part cat and part fish? Me: No it's just a fish *Catfish maintains eye contact while pushing over treasure chest"

"You ever see your kid looking so dirty at school and don't wanna pick him up? I just drove pass mine now like, 'Hell no, that is not my kid'"

"What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk? A dead bird."

"Why do divers fall backwards into the water? If they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"Man is like spider... ..bound to have sticky fingers after being on the web"

"I want to be an organ donner My priest said to give my heart to Jesus."

"Why ed has no girlfriend? Cz sheeran"

"My cat must hate his litter box He just shits all over it"

"Stars! They're just like us! Gaseous and dying"

"What's the difference between a fox and a pig? About six drinks"