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Joke of the Day

"A coworker of mine recently had a miscarriage and it really changed her. She's not the same joyful, full-of-energy kind of person she used to be. It's like she lost her inner child."

"your Lonely Score is the maximum number of forks a takeout place has given you for your single person food order. my score is 4"

"My mom worries about me too much. We were having a phone conversation till she dropped her phone. She picks it up and asks ""are you OK?"""

"A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the ""mid air"" beach picture :("

"If you're American before you go to the bathroom and American after. What are you when you're in the bathroom? European"

"Have to make a funny comic for French class. Any topic suggestions?"

"Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? They're stuck at C for years"

"Sometimes I squat... ...and pull my legs up to my chest and lean forward. Why? That's how I roll."

"What's the difference between your mother and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking when I slap it"

"How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes? Like a Bosch!"