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Joke of the Day
"Confession: the entire time when I was forming the earth, I was using asteroids."
Next Joke
"Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use? Progressive."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ali ! Ali who ? Ali-luyah at last you've opened the door !"
"I do this really cute thing where I yawn right before my girlfriend kisses me so I almost swallow her face"
"What car do polite cowboys drive? Audi!"
"When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance."
"Did you hear about the baby that was born with three knees? He was born with a left knee, a right knee, and a little wee-knee"
"*goes in bank with finger guns* This is a robbery! ""no one'll take you seriously-"" *switches to double barrel finger guns* ""do what he says"""
"Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR? They told him he was good at deriving"
"The dishwasher is making a strange noise. Probably because she's outside shoveling the driveway."