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Joke of the Day

"Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday."

"Where's the gratification in tearing down another human being? It's much easier to have heart, than walk w a self-inserted rod up your ASS."

"My 5-year-old niece's twist on an old pirate joke **Question:** Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet? **Answer:** Because his 'I' was all jacked up. *...she cracks me up*"

"What do the Japanese do when they have erections? They vote."

"What does Charles Darwin use to moisturise his skin? Evo-lotion."

"I met a girl at a soccer game... ...I think she's a keeper"

"I don't understand how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living."

"Are you frome Tennessee? Because you're a bitch."

"What's the most important part of a joke, the setup or the punchline? To get to the other side."

"If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it's about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic."