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Joke of the Day

"Drunk people are the only honest ones left."

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"The police break into Abraham Lincolns house... When they find him, he says ""Don't arrest me, I'm in a cent!"""
"What happened why the grape was squished? It let out a little wine Eh....eh..eh"
"What do you call a drunk dinosaur? Stagger-saurus."
"Pick-up line guaranteed to work every time! Does this smell like chloroform to you??"
"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."
"What's the difference between an Iraqi school and an Iraqi Army base? One poses a significant potential threat to ISIS and its continued existence. The other is an Iraqi Army base."
"I found a wallet today, and as a practicing Christian, I asked myself ""what would Jesus do?"" So I turned it into wine."
"I live like a king of medieval time. I eat three meals a day, each meal may have meat and spices. I work sitting down."
"A carnival worker plans to sue after recently being fired. His lawyers say it is a clear case of funfair dismissal."