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Joke of the Day

"I don't like gears on a car, and I hate using them. They've just always looked shifty to me."

"6 things should be common in a Girl and Tea. Should be hot. should be strong. should be sweet. adequate milk. should be ready in 5 minutes. And lastly, won't let you sleep whole night :)"

"What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs? Ath-fleats!"

"What Did the Sadist Do to the Masochist? Nothing."

"Why should you never date a tennis player? Cause love means nothing to them"

"INTERVIEWER: says here you were fired previously? ME: yeah, I tried putting pizza in the copier INTERVIEWER: [excitedly] did... did it work?"

"Why are campers so predictable? You know they're in tents."

"Songs with lyrics like, ""We don't need sleep,"" why are you rebelling against naps? What are you--four?"

"They say when a Japanese girl is really turned on... The pixels will align."

"On the phone to the chinese food place & my cat's all chatty... I cover the receiver and hiss ""Shhh, you want them to hear you?"""