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Joke of the Day

"2 atoms walk into a bar One atom says to the other, ""Oh no, I've lost an electron!"" The other asks ""Are you sure?"" To which the atom replies, ""I'm positive!"""

"Father Christmas: All right my good lady my face is my ticket. Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch out... there's a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets."

"Weird, started flirting in this bar and for some reason 4 guys just killed themselves."

"I'm dating a half asian girl... ...her mother is korean, her father is korean and her legs were ripped off in a car accident"

"Parachute Jumping by Hugo Furst"

"I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop."

"What happened to the egg when it heard the joke? It cracked."

"My dyslexic brother made ginger bread yesterday. Poor Tyrone.."

"My waxer just told me a hilarious story about ripping out a client's tampon during a bikini wax. I guess she doesn't remember me."

"How does a blonde call for her dog? She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts ""Max!""."