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Joke of the Day
"My uncle came back from Scotland and said they found a new use for sheep... Wool."
Next Joke
"""Said no one ever."" -Said everyone on Twitter."
"A guy shows up late for work Off to work A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'"
"What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead - I'll just hang around."
"21st century divorce: I want it stipulated that he can't change the Netflix password."
"I like my ex's like I like my coffee... Ground up and in the freezer"
"What is perfectly adorable, good as new, and has seven tiny dents in it... Snow White's hymen."
"How do Mexican cut pizza? Little Caesars."
"Assistant: Uh sir? Your personalized jean jacket is very cool but it looks like the store screwed up. It says STAN on the back. Satan: WHAT"
"So passed caring about how I dress any more. I just put on whatever makes me not naked and hope for the best"