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Joke of the Day

"Insta before videos: hey look at my sushi ! Insta with videos: hey look at my sushi for 15 seconds !"

"I accidentally got my mom prego... :( She wanted Ragu."

"Why did the brake pedal see a therapist? Because it was depressed."

"Bragging about how much you receive in alimony only demonstrates how much someone was willing to pay to get rid of you."

"Immigrants are like sperm millions get in but only one works."

"What do gay Russian partners call each other? Cumrade"

"""Buttocks! Sexy sexy buttocks! Introduce me to your buttocks! My name is Tony!"" - from my new song, ""Dusk in Vienna"""

"*Throws up some gang signs* *stabs self in eye with salad fork* Hubs: Next time you do the Macarena, put your fork down."

"Google+ is like the gym of social networking. We all join it, but nobody uses it."

"How does Moses make tea? He brews it."