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Joke of the Day

"Bragging about how much you receive in alimony only demonstrates how much someone was willing to pay to get rid of you."

"Ever since I've been on crutches I've been extremely depressed... I mean I just can't stand myself."

"A Sadist and a Masochist are walking down the street. The Masochist says, ""Hit me."" The Sadist says, ""No."""

"How are whores and movies alike? You pay up front for both and even if it's bad, you don't get a refund for either."

"Excited about my bike, I decided to start a cycling club. It's been weeks and no one has joined Maybe The Pedalphiles wasn't the best name :-/"

"How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Give her a basketball, and tell her to read it."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. The question is how they got in there."

"A perfect breakfast my perfect breakfast: my son on a box of wheaties, my girlfriend on the cover of playboy,my wife on the back of a milk carton..."

"Woe, gone. RIP Sir Terry"

"Darren Went to a Doctor to Get a Solution of Loose Motions.. Doctor : Tell Me, What is your Problem?? Darren : Suffering from Unlimited Free Outgoings with Different Different Ringtones...:-):-D"