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Joke of the Day

"The bartender says ""we don't serve particles that disrupt time flow!"" A tachyon particle walks into a bar......."

"You know what they say about a man with cold hands...... No gloves."

"A doctor enters a patients room and pulls out an anal thermometer from his pocket and says Damn. Some asshole has my pen."

"What's E.T short for? Because he's got little legs. But seriously, what does ET stand for? Because he can't sit down."

"Gay guys are fucking assholes."

"[puts in hearing aid] aids aids aids aids aids [takes out hearing aid]"

"Does anyone know a good locksmith? I spent the entire day cleaning the entire house and need to keep my family out."

"Do you know how they came up with the name for a shark? It's a mix of two swear words; ""SHIIIT"" and ""FAAARK"""

"What is a good title for a movie about bacon? ""Babe: The Final Chapter"""

"What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."