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Joke of the Day

"What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's songs? It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant!"

"Showerthoughts has a rule against puns so here we are. Promiscuous women in 1984 were guilty of thot crimes."

"What the hell Hollywood? I've never had to rub blood between my fingers to know that it's blood."

"Please, person who just said ""libary"", tell me more about what an avid reader you are."

"Guys whose fathers left when they were young always complain about how they never had someone to ""teach them how to shave"" but it's easy... You start at the ankle and work your way up!"

"My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more."

"I'm a vegetarian. Subway gave me a Chicken Club. Oops, wrong sub."

"Why did the farmer name his pig ""pork Chop"" Because 'Bacon' was already taken."

"If I got a dime for every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be asking people why they're giving me dimes."

"What do you call it when a gay man is taking a poop? Filling a bowl of fruity pebbles."