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Joke of the Day

"What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's songs? It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant!"

"My girlfriend said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on... I dont get women."

"I Like my women like i like my elevators.... If I push their buttons, they'll go down."

"TIL you can fit 30 bananas in a Kangaroo's pouch. Also, I'm not allowed at the zoo anymore."

"I hate when people ask what I see myself doing in 5 years How would I know, I don't have 2020 vision"

"Steps to being cool A) Use the sunglasses face B)"

"i have been trying to teach my dog to speak English.... but his skills are ruff"

"This one is a bit tasteless, so be warned. Water"

"I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they're such big fans but probably can't even name 3 of his songs."

"""You should leave your wife..."" The secret note I leave on my husband's windshield every morning..."