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Joke of the Day

"My mum doesn't work in IT. So I don't get why she looks at me and keeps repeating ""I wish there was an undo button."""

"Indian Chief: What that bottle of vodka for? Me: I got it for my girlfriend. Indian Chief: Good trade."

"Romantic first date idea: get too nervous beforehand and drive your car into a river"

"why google is a she? she have an answer for everything"

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? I'll see you next month"

"What did the alien say to the gardener? Take me to your weeder."

"I walked into my bosses office and yelled, ""Three to five cellular layers of skin."" ""What?"" he laughed. ""I'm just saying what's on everyone's lips."""

"Lovers decided to commit suicide. The boy jumped first. The girl did not. From that day, started the concept of...Ladies First. @Laugh_Riot"

"(WW1 1915) ENGLISH GENERAL: Plan? ENGLISH LIEUTENANT: Well, the trenches can be used to- ENGLISH MAJOR: to symbolise man's emptiness, yes..."

"How does a Gorilla become another animal? When a Mafia don hires a 'big Gorilla' to be his bodyguard and the big Ape goes to the cops and turns into a stool pigeon!"