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Joke of the Day

"(WW1 1915) ENGLISH GENERAL: Plan? ENGLISH LIEUTENANT: Well, the trenches can be used to- ENGLISH MAJOR: to symbolise man's emptiness, yes..."

"What did one John say to the other John? ""What's the matter? You look flushed!"""

"People who generalize.. I find people who generalize to be complete idiots."

"Why did Russia sign the non-aggression pact with NazI Germany? They were Stalin for time."

"Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. ` ` Knock Knock, who's there? Not Sally."

"I'm at my most NASCAR driver when I really have to pee."

"I watch doomsday films like there's no tomorrow."

"Waiter there is a fly in my soup! Sorry sir maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three."

"What do you call an Egyptian spine manipulator? A Cairo-practor"

"How do I know you're not John Cena? I can see you"