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Joke of the Day

"Do you know the between a garbanzo and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo on my chest"

"If my love life was a movie it would be Demolition Man... ...starring Sylvester Still-alone."

"A skeleton goes to the bar and says ""Can I have a pint and a mop..."""

"What did Alex Trebek say when he was about to lose his job? ""My career is in Jeopardy!"""

"What do you get when you sit under a cow? A Pat on the head"

"Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now."

"When my wife takes a nap, it's ""desperately needed rest."" When I do, it's ""lazy chauvinist party-time."""

"A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn on the dish washer... I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle fingering usually does the trick..."

"Why did the chicken coop have two doors? 'cause if it had four doors it'd be a chicken sedan"

"Why did Fred put band aids in the refrigerator? He wanted cold cuts."