13166

Joke of the Day

"""HIV"" is trending above ""Grammys"" because AIDS is better than the ""music"" that was nominated."

"I amputated my own fingers to get a date with a cute surgeon She finally took my digits this time!"

"I love the smell of relapse in the morning"

"I sure talk a lot of crap for someone who can't spell ""Wednesday"" without having to say ""Wed-nes-day"" in my head."

"A friend made a list of questions for his mom to answer about childhood flashbacks She threw them out"

"what do you call a pissed off group of door handles? An angry knob"

"What do you call two female doctors working at the same hospital? A pair of docs. Probably belongs in /r/imgoingtohellforthis Is /r/misogyny a sub??? My mom would be so disappointed."

"A fair deal A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside."

"So a man walks into a bar... It must have hurt like a sonuvabitch."

"So, i wanted to know what my weight was. 'Holding your belly in is not gonna make you lighter' my wife said. But how am i supposed to see the numbers?"