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Joke of the Day

"I hope when I get old, my motorized wheelchair is fast enough the catch the ice cream truck."

"Why didn't the Mexican go ""bow hunting"" with the Native American? He didn't Habanero."

"Apparently, ""I had an interview with a better company"" is not an acceptable reason for being late for work."

"*Leonardo Dicapreo goes up to accept oscar* *pulls out speech* *blows dust off of it* Yes I'd like to thank the directors of titanic for th-"

"Would you like to try some binary cake? Sure, I'll have a little bit."

"Her; My phones dead let me use yours Me; (throws phone out car window) oh I must of left it at home"

"I bought a universal remote the other day and I thought to myself ""Wow, this changes everything!"""

"Why is it fun to play with matches ? They're lit."

"I have a new co-worker, who only has seven toes. I instantly hated him. Turns out I'm lack toes intolerant."

"I would tell you the one about the broken pencil. But there's no point to it."